Flying

Everywhere I turn and everything I do revolves around one word lately: Fly.

It started a few days ago. I open a magazine. Surprise. Turn on the tube. Surprise. Go for a run. Surprise. It's everywhere. Even the birds on my blog. Reminds me of Mandie's awesome tattoo. When I am on an airplane, I love to just be. Think. Process. Laugh to myself quietly. Listen to music. Ask the hard questions. Why? Write in my journal.

I had a dream a few nights ago about flying into Berlin. My parents randomly flew in for a few hours and my friends were there. It was Erin and Daniel's wedding. We were all in the hotel. It was weird, I can't really explain it, but everything was as it should be...a glimpse of the future possibly. It was good and funny :)

I am off to Berlin! I am excited and nervous. It will be really good for me. What random bums or mix-ups will I run into this week? Adventures.

Song for the week: "Fly One Time" Ben Harper and Relentless 7

In the world that owes you nothing
you give everything.
Everything.

Standing at the edge of your life.
At the edge of our lives.
Don't hold on

And now your caught in between
what you can't leave behind.
And what you may, what we may never find.

Just fly.

"When the habitually even-tempered suddenly fly into a passion, that explosion is apt to be more impressive than the outburst of the most violent among us." - Margery Allingham

"Sleep is when all the unsorted stuff comes flying out as for a dustbin upset in a high wind." - William Golding

Life is good to me. When you have a million and one things to smile about, life is good. My last blog is approaching quickly in the next few weeks...closing this chapter and flying home.

Loves,
Teresa Lynn

Damn Positive Attitude - Gotta Make a Change! :)

My horoscopes are spot on today. I love it when that happens. Today I am confident, grounded, and strong. It's been a surprisingly great day. Easier than I thought. Happy. Peace of mind.

"...A confidence that no matter what happens today, it will all work out for the best. Having some faith in yourself and others is exactly what will make that come true."

"You are having the hardest time trying to figure out what's really going on around you -- and, maybe more importantly, why. Now is not the time to ask big questions, though. You need to get busy!"

"While the rest of the world seems to be oh so eager to let go and just say it, whatever 'it' happens to be, you're in the opposite mood for once. You want to keep quiet, draw back and watch. And it's going to be quite amusing. You're so used to acting this way that it will be like watching a kid try to ride a bike for the first time. Be kind, though -- and offer some pointers, if you're feeling especially generous."

The kids and I had a Grey's-Anatomy-Dance-Party afternoon. It started as a Michael Jackson dance off and ended up as a full on jump on the couches, head bang, air guitar, dance blanket party! Loved every second of it. Sweaty hair, crazy moves, groovy tunes - RELEASE! I put together a little Origami craft, BAD ASS, no big deal ;)

Matilda called today and it was a good to chat it up. "Damn Positive Attitude!!" I miss her, but I am so glad she is happy. Everything always works out for the best even if it's not how we hoped, planned, or expected ;)

After our conversation I sat out on the back porch because it is a beautiful, blue sky, sunshiny day. I have no idea how long, but I sipped on my coffee and relaxed. A calm came over me. Sang a little tune. Didn't even have to wear a jacket, that's how nice it was today.

I am cooking fish with lemon sauce and wild rice tonight! YEAH YEAH YEAH! I can't decide between Oatmeal cake or cookies now?! Oh decisions...sometimes they are easier than we think.

New tunes on the radio:
"Empire State of Mind" Jay-Z (Alicia Keys)
"Do You Remember" Jay Sean
"Crawl" Chris Brown

SHIIIITTTT! I feel good today! This has actually been one of the best days I have had in months! Love my friends and my family! I am thinking about the Chi clip from Catch and Release! The one where she admits to stealing library books :)

I can't stop dancing today! :)

Gotta make a change
For once in my life
It's gonna feel real good
Gonna make a difference
Gonna make it right

Love you,
T

Incredible Timing

Today is a busy day. A half-ass sunny one too :) Everything is going to be okay. Processing. Silence. Date night? Movies! The Office. Chocolate. Loved Valkyrie.

Our minds, hearts, and intuition have INCREDIBLE TIMING once in while! You ever get a piece of information from that past you didn't know and then start to realize all these pieces to the puzzle? Everything is clicking. Thankfully, INCREDIBLE TIMING has a positive side as well.

A sunny day today. Incredible timing.
I had this horrible night about a month ago. Incredible timing.
Phone calls on hold. False words. White lies. Incredible timing.
Woke up at 4:38 this morning. Incredible timing.
Support. Incredible timing.
Friends in Berlin this weekend. Incredible timing.
Friends in Frankfurt next weekend. Incredible timing.
Last words before your flight. Incredible timing.
Job opportunities. Incredible timing.
Endings & Beginnings. Incredible timing.
Kind words. Incredible timing.
Answered prayers. Incredible timing.
People who step into your life for a reason. Incredible timing.
People who walk out of your life. Incredible timing.

I have so many doors that have opened recently and so many doors that are closing. You know change is never easy for me. I hate it. I am sorry. I have to do what I have to do. Understand?

It's all for the best?
Of course it is.

At the door of my life.

"Do You Know Me" John Mayer
"Happy" Leona Lewis
"War of My Life" John Mayer
"Here Comes the Sun" Sheryl Crow

Taste Every Ounce of Life

"Live. And Live Well. BREATHE. Breathe in and Breathe deeply. Be PRESENT. Do not be past. Do not be future. Be now. On a crystal clear, breezy 70 degree day, roll down the windows and FEEL the wind against your skin. Feel the warmth of the sun. If you run, then allow those first few breaths on a cool Autumn day to FREEZE your lungs and do not just be alarmed, be ALIVE. Get knee-deep in a novel and LOSE track of time. If you bike, pedal HARD… and if you crash then crash well. Feel the SATISFACTION of a job well done-a paper well-written, a project thoroughly completed, a play well-performed. If you must wipe the snot from your 3-year old's nose, don't be disgusted if the Kleenex didn't catch it all… because soon he'll be wiping his own. If you've recently experienced loss, then GRIEVE. And Grieve well. At the table with friends and family, LAUGH. If you're eating and laughing at the same time, then might as well laugh until you puke. And if you eat, then SMELL. The aromas are not impediments to your day. Steak on the grill, coffee beans freshly ground, cookies in the oven. And TASTE. Taste every ounce of flavor. Taste every ounce of friendship. Taste every ounce of Life. Because-it-is-most-definitely-a-Gift." - Kyle Lake

I am drained today. I have nothing more to give and I am physically, mentally, and emotionally drained. My mid-day run was liberating and spiritual. The rain was perfect. In the middle of my run I just sat on this bench and appreciated everything around me. I am going to miss my life here. Bittersweet. This quote above spoke volumes to me. There is nothing better than support from someone who knows you are going through a difficult time and is across the world. This too shall pass. Love.

I laughed all day. I hysterically laughed all day today. No lie.

"If you're going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now." Marie Osmond

"I must learn to love the fool in me the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries." - Theodore Rubin

I love my life. Thankful.

Stories

I was searching for the lyrics to this one song and I could not find them anywhere...until...I ran into a random blog. She wrote about her 21st Birthday coming up and about trying not to care too much because she hates disappointment. She thinks 21 is an arbitrary number, and I think she is right. She went on to say how she lives her expectations down to a pessimistic level so that everything is a "bonus". Admitting it's not a great way to live her life, she ends the main paragraph writing that it works for her.

That makes me sad she thinks that way...I hope she finds everything she wants out of life. I hope she dreams big. Loves big. Fights big. You get what you give. That is my hope for her.

I think it's intriguing to read other people's stories. Stories baffle me. Our past, present, and future; It's all giant adventure. The older you get the better your novel. It's a story within the story that gets me...

"I guess it really was all in my head...It's okay...I clearly made up this whole story and it was a good story and it was all tortured and Bridges of Madison County. It's alright, now I know and I can, I can let that story go. Goodnight."

"Sometimes the past is something you just can't let go of. And sometimes the past is something we'll do anything to forget. And sometimes we learn something new about the past that changes everything we know about the present."

"End of all Time" Stars of Track and Field
"Everything'll Be Alright" (Will's Lullaby) Joshua Radin

Everyone has a little gunk...

I just had a much needed, amazing weekend in Berchtesgaden! All these wonderful strangers that I had the opportunity to meet and spend time with were filling my mind with stories of Project Bold and life experiences. The things I have yet to do with my life...

I hiked for 4 hours on Saturday climbing to Hitler's Eagle's Nest and it was a breathtaking experience. Even though the Eagle's Nest was not open it was still liberating because it was an experience most people don't choose or get an opportunity to complete. Buses don't like pedestrians and you are not supposed to climb it during the off season. They close the place at the end of October for snow. The snow was beautiful. I am going to climb more when I get home. Climb mountains.

It was the most peaceful place. Nothing in the world mattered up there. Everything was as it should be. My world was quiet. After spending two weekends at Hinterbrand I do not question why people spend so much time in nature. Figuring out all the questions to life, and spending time alone seems easier here. It's my favorite place on earth.

Everything is so bittersweet right now. I am leaving so soon. Winter is here. Endings have always been difficult for me, but I know it is time. This week I am buying my ticket home. This week I am leaving for Berlin. This week I have a million things on my mind, a million things to let go, and a million things to look forward to.

Life is special. I am special.

I am procrastinating. What now? What next?

Paola and I laughed really hard when we were cleaning up after family dinner at the lodge because she was grossed out by soaking the nasty residue on the pots...I said, "Everyone has a little gunk in their life." It is the truest statement I can make right now :)

Love always and forever,
Teresa Lynn